Prick park.

Dear Uncle Randy, 

Some prick keeps parking in my drive – sort that one out Source. 


Yet another example of villainy running riot in a broken world brimming with barbarians; roaming our lands lawlessly, they serve only their own interests – ruthlessly chanting as they go, “Rape! Pillage! Plunder!” These are the scoundrels who, amongst other crimes, hoard financial wealth, poison the environment, and eat babies.

Fortunately, since receiving your letter, Uncle Randy’s Camel Tow Services has successfully located the prick-car and removed it from your driveway (it is currently being held at the bottom of the lake and will be released to the owner for an immoderate fee). As if by magic, all your troubles have been miraculously taken care of! How convenient that you can remain idly sofa-bound – binging on Netflix, stuffing your face, and scrolling distractedly through Instagram – whilst someone else takes up the reigns and tames the stallions of your discontent. Someone has gallantly run to your aid and soothed your cries like a big milky breast to a bawling infant. Well sorry to fart your candles out but it doesn’t work like that, you indolent slug.

Stewing in lethargy achieves nothing. Surprisingly enough, sharing videos on Facebook does not reverse the effects of climate change and liking a friend’s status does not constitute a meaningful relationship; tutting at the words and actions of politicians does not make them any less corrupt. Passively standing by in a state of expectancy – spectating through a window, via a screen, from a distance – will change nothing. Every one of us possesses great creative potential, the ability to shape our worlds in whatever way we see fit. When finding yourself disgruntled by the present state of affairs, stand up and assume personal responsibility! It must be you to take action! Confront this car – with a brick, with a passive aggressive note, or with an open mind and a diplomatic sentiment. Awaken your latent powers and take active steps to effect the change that you wish to see. Without such action, self-interested scumbags will continue to take for themselves and leave nothing behind, and the world will descend into an anarchic wasteland, with individuals watching on, shaking their heads in apathetic disbelief.

Randy.

Digital print available here.

Picture credit.

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